For the record, I ain’t got nothin’ against some iced cream. The cream was so iced. Enjoyed by all involved. I just need to know what my orders are, sir.

So after seeing the two-part pilot, I have complicated feelings about Star Trek Discovery. First of all it’s got a little too much Battlestar Gallactica rubbed on it. That’s new Battlestar Gallactica, not good Battlestar Gallactica, for clarity. Just, I dunno, grab a feather duster or something. Brighten this place up a bit. Put that camera on a dolly every once in a while. Though come to think of it, wallpapering this show with original Battlestar Gallactica would probably be worse. I mean Inhumans looked like it had sets straight from the seventies with a desaturation filter on, and that got cancelled before it aired. Vulcan mullet is a thing I need to see, now, though. Forrest!

Wait, where was I?

Oh yeah. The script is more than competent. A bit ham-handed with it’s nationalism versus globalism allegory, and sometimes the characters behave like they’ve got head trauma to drive the plot along, but their heart is in the right place and it certainly feels pretty trek-like. We’re going back to a wartime Star Trek a la latter Deep Space Nine, but I’m cool with that. I’ve always wanted to explore the ecosystem of a federation starship from closer to the bottom of the food chain, “The Lower Ranks” being one of my favorite Next Generation episodes. So I’m liking at least conceptually where this is headed. Don’t think I like the new ship designs, but they definitely push that retro button that makes them look like state-of-the-old-art as it were. I was giving The Orville props the other week for doing the visuals that the Next Generation guys always had in their head but struggled to get on film, but Discovery‘s got that, it’s own distinct personality, and a level of polish that is kind of nuts.

And hey, speaking of The Orville, it kind of takes the edge off that Discovery isn’t more like the old Trek. Seth MacFarlane has that on lock. His show is such a genuine, heart-felt attempt to modernize The Next Generation it feels a shame they couldn’t possibly have worked a Gates McFadden or Levar Burton cameo into the pilot of this thing. It’s got a distinctly irreverent personality to it’s snappy, sitcom-like dialog, but all the broad strokes are still there. The more than occasionally allegorical content ; the campy-looking, but really well designed sets; the diverse and bright cast of characters all playing off each other when the ship isn’t about to explode.

I much prefer the ship design here to that of Discovery. Reminds me of Galaxy Quest’s NSEA-Protector, but that was another homage to my favorite television show of all time, and I’m pretty sure if I try to pile another digression on here our web server will shut down in protest.

Good time to be a fan of science fiction melodrama.