For the record, some of our scripts are actually just verbatim transcriptions of natural conversations I trip over. This couldn’t possibly be one of those, could it? It could! It is! And this is only the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg of insanity. I’ve had my son describe Minecraft contraptions that artifically induce lag by […]
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For the record, while this never actually happened, Danielle and I are certain that should these circumstances arise this is the inevitable outcome. Young children are practical thinkers. So yeah, the preceding is a true story. Only the names, circumstances, and actions taken were changed to protect the innocent. Ja.
Apparently my dog fits through cat gates.
For the record, Forrest warned me that if I didn’t hand him a script by sundown, he’d draw up poop joke to spite me. Well, this one is all him so I can only ask: What the hell is Lennon eating? I’m reminded of an anecdote I heard from Alton Brown, a chef celebrity I follow, about […]
For the record, if you’re not asking for a spoon, your dish isn’t deep enough. Ja.
For the record, some might find this topically late. But I think there’s genuine value in reviving recent news stories a few weeks after they go stale. Novelty has a tendency to rub out history in modern, frenetic news cycles, and I find that a little disturbing. Politicians will often do some amazingly unpopular shit […]
For the record, it’s been a long while since I last saw the “ogre stick.” I’m not even certain it still exists. It certainly didn’t have any nails in in the last time I saw it. My first encounter with it was when I was very young and fashioned myself a burgeoning samurai and writer… I […]
For the record: Elite: Dangerous is easily the best game I wouldn’t recommend. It takes a very particular kind of patient to put up with it’s many, many failings enough to enjoy the amazing nuggests of space underneath. This is a game where the space is great. Things are to scale and there’s just enough magic sci-fi tech […]
For the record: Lennon doesn’t have a good track record with water pressure. Though there was that one time I was trying to hook up a sprinkler for my kids with an old, busted, kinky hose. Was kneeling down beside it to undo a kink near the sprinkler and I must’ve lined up real well […]
This actually happened. She was enjoying the baby’s lunch with him. When I came over to put her collar on because I found it on the floor she began to tremble uncontrollably. She was as worried about losing out on a few bites of whatever the baby discarded as she gets about thunder or fireworks. […]